I’m enjoying my breakfast at the restaurant in my hotel, and I just noticed that the middle-aged couple sitting at the table next to me is taking a series of selfies. The star attraction–bacon! They’re taking turns feeding each other bacon while aiming the camera at themselves. After each picture, they admire the image, laugh at themselves, and then kiss. Obviously each new pose has to be more creative than the last, so now I’m now watching him dangling the bacon over her head, with her waiting for it, mouth open like a baby bird. Their final pose involved each one putting the end of the bacon between their lips and nibbling the strip of meat until they could seal their accomplishment with a kiss. My seat is directly facing them and I’m only a few feet away, so I have no choice but watch them. Lucky me!

In contrast, off to my right is huge table with 15 people around it. They appear to be an extended family with parents, grandparents & kids. One of the men is loudly telling the kids a series of ‘Why did the chicken cross the road jokes.’ At one point, one of the kids screams out his final answer, “So someone could take a picture of the chicken’s butt!”

The whole table laughed (I did, too!). You pick—would you prefer family chaos or the bacon kissers? I’ll pick Uncle Joker and his lame chicken jokes anytime!

This just in, and the icing on the cake—two women are sitting behind me, and one of them belched so loudly, that it startled me—I actually jumped! Bacon kissers, loud jokes, and a super-sonic burp –ahhh, the joys of public dining!?